It been along time since I wrote a entries in the Journal, yet alone been on Deviant Arts. I been working my job and I thought I found love, but I was wrong and just realize I was just infatuated with the beautiful woman and it was just one-sided love, it broke me to the core. I thought I was finally lifting this curse of loneliness and being unsuccessful in life behind me, but I was totally wrong, or looking at my situation the wrong way. I was beginning to question myself, did I love myself the right way or do I know my true worth. Also am I on the right path in my life, this is a rectifying moment right now.
I have so many fear in head that is manifesting right now. I thought I finally on the right track, got my car, paying my bill, trying get out of debt, trying do a better job of being a better parent, being a better man, being a better me. I'm so self-conscious about myself, in school I was tease and pick-on about my dental problem. I thought I get the problem fix, but I got sided tracked. That no-excuse, but it one of my Achilles heel, the other is my mentality, the way i view myself, I feel so inferior. Example: Why is this beautiful one talking to me, the moment I smile she gonna run for the hill, or she might give me a chance but I so in my
self I can't see or hear what telling me. Communication is very important!
What I'm trying to say is mental state is gone and I screwing up my finance, my relationship, my job, and my art. I love art, but having a broken heart made me feel broken inside. I just didn't care about anything, and that is not how you suppose to live life. So it time to really take in account everything that I been through and discover a solution to my problem.
I know I made this promise before, I going to update regularly, maybe one drawing or a strip every week (baby step).
Also thank my followers who stuck with over the years! Especially the ones right now way more skilled than me. Randommode , Shinobi-Gambu , zkfanart Thank you Guys!!! If anybody reading this check them out. Anyway thank you for hearing me out! (Or reading me out...) Anyway until next time take care.